A LARYNGECTOMEE’S PERSONAL EXPERIENCE

I'd like to share my experience of becoming a laryngectomee. In 1993, my
father was diagnosed with cancer of the vocal cords. After seeing post
operative patients at the VA hospital in West Roxbury, MA, he decided he
didn't want to live that way. He didn't tell us. I always thought that when it
got bad enough he would go get it taken care of. I didn't know one thing
about being a Laryngectomee at that time. Little by little his tumor was
getting bigger everyday. At first his voice was getting more and more
raspy, until he could barely whisper. After several months, it started to
affect his breathing. Every day his breathing became more and more
labored. You could hear him trying to breathe from anywhere in the house.
I mistakenly thought he would still get it fixed. Toward the end, all he
could do was sit there and fight for every breath in and out. It was awful.
Two days before he died, I said to him, "You look awful. When are you
going to go to the hospital”? He couldn't even answer me. He just sat there
with his mouth hanging open trying to breathe. The lack of oxygen was
affecting his brain function. I was still thinking he would go to the hospital.
My mother and brother were living at home with him and as long as they
could hear him breathe, they knew he was alive. Two days later my mother
called and said: “Brian your father died this morning.” The tumor had
completely closed off his airway. It was a long slow painful death. I was
devastated. I loved my father very much.
Thirteen years later, it was my turn to get cancer of the left true vocal cord.
At first I was going to do what my father did and not have the surgery.
I decided to go to the University of Massachusetts Medical School's
Library with my friend Paula, and we did a lot of research. I decided to
have the surgery even though it didn't sound too pleasant. Paula helped me
to decide to get the surgery. She said she had a neighbor who was a
laryngectomee and that it would become second nature. She was right. On
May 3rd 2007 I went to have my laryngectomy. It was a little rough at first
but each day it got a little better. I am glad that I had the surgery now, and
wish my father would have had it done. The way I look at it, we're only on
this earth for a short while, so try to stay here as long as possible, because
when you go on the other side, it’s forever.
--- By Brian LaG